


Not About Deserve

by FiKate



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Past Character Death, Rebellion, cost of war
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-19 16:35:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18138218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiKate/pseuds/FiKate
Summary: Jyn comforts Cassian as he remembers a time when he couldn't save everyone.Written for the promptWe accept the love we think we deserveas well as being inspired by the quote from Wonder Woman of "It's not about deserve" and Sempaiko's beautifulRest and Relaxation and Rebelcaptainart which I have on my wall.





	Not About Deserve

“Don’t deserve to be with you. I shouldn’t be the one to be alive.” Cassian’s words were said to her chest as she held him on their bed.

“Stop that. It’s not about deserve,” Jyn said to the top of Cassian’s head. “Its not. My mother didn’t deserve to die for wanting to be free from the Empire. My father didn’t deserve to die or to live a prisoner. We didn’t deserve all that’s happened to us. No one deserves the Empire.” 

He shook his head, and she hated to hear the pain in his voice, “I should have saved them. I could have but couldn’t, it would have put the mission at risk.”

“Shh, we’re here, be here with me.” Saw had never made her do that cold math of who gets to live and who dies. Draven trusted Cassian to do that work, but it ate away at him. Partisans protected each other but civilians, collateral damage, they never mattered, hurting the Empire always came first. 

Today a ghost had walked in from Cassian’s past, he hadn’t told her the full story before he tried to hide himself away, but she knew enough to put the pieces together. A connection to someone he’d had to leave behind, because the mission wasn’t a rescue.

“No, don’t say that. You have always done all you could. You’re a good man. Someone else wouldn’t care. They’d say, get the mission done, that matters more, but you don’t.” On Eadu, she'd thought that’s who he was but his actions had proven her wrong. Her words had hurt him because they were close to what he thought of himself.

“I have to, have to but its never enough,” He peered up at her, tears shining his eyes as his hair fell across his forehead. She moved his hair and kissed the tears on his face, tasting the salt on her tongue.

“There’s never enough until the Empire falls, not for the galaxy. But I love you and need you and don’t need more.” When she was with Cassian, she felt safe. She thought she’d never feel that after Saw left her, “You’re my home.”

For a moment there was disbelief in his eyes before he gently kissed her, “You’re mine too.”

Slowly she leaned back until they were laying on the bed with his head on her chest as she ran her hand through his hair. In time, his breathing slowed and Jyn smiled to herself before closing her eyes to join him in sleep.


End file.
